Reflection - Relationship

Time for some self-reflection on relationship topic.

They say, your first love will always be bad and will subsequently improve from second onwards. So how many relationships you need to have in order to have a good one? This statement is not right at all. 

There are so many examples outside, that people actually married their first love. One of them which I see everyday is my cousin Careen. I always love to read their love stories whenever she writes on her blog. 

And they say, don't compare your relationship with others. Yes we shouldn't. But why does he want to compare? Why are you trying to change me when you can't accept me. Now, here's another problem. They say, both parties have to tolerate with each other if you really love each other.

But all I can conclude is, first, my first love wasn't bad at all. But we didn't make it because of me. And I can still remember everything about us which are going to make me learn from my mistake and to improve myself. So this proves that the first statement is really wrong because actually first love can be beautiful. 

Secondly, we are not suppose to compare our relationship with others because everyone has different personalities, characteristics and even their point of views in all the circumstances in life. However, we should sometimes look at people's stories so that we can learn from their mistakes and grow from there. But, not everyone can do this you know. Definitely there are more people who loves comparing than to learn from others. Thus, it depends on which kind of person you are, to compare or to learn.

Third, to change or not to change for your other half. This one is too subjective coz it depends on what you're trying to change. Personalities, habits or the whole you? Regarding this topic, I do not have much opinion, because I'm still learning as well. But from my point of view, I think it is essential for us to tolerate with each other, to accept some of the habits or interests of your other half, if you really really love him. 

Loving him is to love all of him, the good and bad. If you think you can't accept some part of him or his life (ie some bad habits), let him know and hopefully he can change. If he can't change, and you're not going to accept it deep down from your heart, then you should leave. From my perspective, I will try my best to make changes only if I think it is reasonable for me to change. So, your other half might have this kind of thinking as well. That's why we can't force anyone to change for us. 

But in the end, no two person fits perfectly with each other. If you really love that person, you will change to be better you or better person to suit that person you love. Not becoming worse day by day. I totally believe that, if I can't make you change (ie. stop smoking cigs or to work harder in life) for me or for yourself, or for your own health and your own life, I have already lose you. Because you don't love yourself and the person around you. You don't care about your own life, so how do you care about mine.

This is why relationship isn't always a simple thing. No matter how long you've lived in this life, no matter how many relationships you've had before, it will still be a continue learning process. It isn't something you can measure through time, just like working experience, it doesn't mean that someone who worked longer than you will necessary gained more experience than you. Prove yourself by walking the talk, be a good other half some day

I wonder why I'll talk about this topic today but it's been a long time since I talk about relationship on my blog. Or had I?

Thanks for reading this.

Love life